oh what a night! i realized i am in love with my best friend as i gave the best man speech at his wedding to a woman who is currently carrying is child. oh what a night
i remember when I read my first smut fic and i really panicked and deleted all my internet history because i thought I was gonna get in trouble but now i’m just like
what if u were laying in bed and then stretched ur hand up and something hi5’d u
i’d move to a different continent because i don’t fuckin play like that
I’m gonna start an all girl punk band that sings really offensive songs like, “I don’t know how to tell you you’re bad at oral.”
Our second song is going to be called “My eyelashes are longer than your dick.”
id listen to you guys.
Another song could be “Christ will come before I do.”
Oh my god
I’m already a fan. I want merch.